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I am not just fat. [Jan. 23rd, 2008|03:21 pm]


On Facebook, I receive a lot of friend requests from good-looking dudes in Turkey who seem to like BBWs. As soon I add them, I begin to receive sexual harrassment and threats that if I "don't get to know them" they will defriend me. I also had one attempt cyber sex with me via Yahoo. Like the next heterosexual woman, I don't mind male attention. In fact, sometimes I invite it. But, when I invite you, that doesn't mean I want you shoving your chauvinistic disrespect down my throat.

Plus-sized women are the minority and most often times oppressed in most of the world with the exception of some cultures, particularly Africa. We are already struggling to be recognized as valid human beings. Because of our second-class citizen class, we have to battle sizeism and most often times misogyny. Respect is the first and foremost thing on our minds and we demand it NOW.

There are many out there who engage fat fetishism. Some women don't mind it and some women see it as the only way they'll able to attain a romantic partner. I don't mind men who prefer plus-sized women, but I really dislike those with who have a reason to exotify fat women. From personal experience, I have discovered that men who have fat fetishism tend are more likely to disrespect and sexually harrass women of size even they mean well.

Despite what society says, you do have a choice and you don't have to go for men who will only go for your curves. What happens if you decide to lose weight? Most likely they will get upset and try to find reasons to make you gain weight.

Here's my message to men with fat fetishes: there is more to fat women than her size. They have minds and personalities.

We enjoy the occasional attention, but we really don't appreciate being put on a pedestal because of our weight.

There is more to us than you what you want to see.

Exoticize my fist!

I know that I don't speak for every fat chick out there, but these are just my thoughts. I hate being sexually harrassed and exotified because of my size. I refuse to be someone's fetish.

[User Picture]From: petitfour
2008-01-23 11:00 pm (UTC)
Same goes for men who have a foot fetish and a woman who happens to have great toes, or guys who dig little people and some girl just happens to have been born that way. In some respect it sucks to be on any unwanted end of someone's particular fetish, but I really don't begrudge people what they're in to, and well some fat women do like being put on a pedestal. You don't speak for all fat women and neither do I.

Because really you might have had different experiences but I find that in general it has more to do with a man being incidentally rude on the internet than being a fat fetishist.
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[User Picture]From: osita2000
2008-01-23 11:20 pm (UTC)
or Asian fetishes
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[User Picture]From: etana
2008-01-24 03:11 pm (UTC)
exactly. Fetish is not the same thing as harassment. Actually the OP has nothing to do with fetish.
And I will stop before I get angry.
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[User Picture]From: ej
2008-01-24 03:56 pm (UTC)
In my experience with fat admirers and fat fetishists of all stripes, I have come to the conclusion that there are some people who are immature and rude. Some people just don't have appropriate social skills.

But I also have a theory that there are some fat "fetishists" (and I use this term loosely) who "admire" and chase after fat women because they have it in their mind that they are doing fat women a favor by wanting to be with them, and that they deserved to be worshiped for it. And that because they are doing these women a favor, it is their right to degrade and disrespect them. They get off on having a perceived power dynamic. I have many theories as to what the root cause of this is, but mostly I believe it is just an underlying hate of women.
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